Monday, June 4, 2012

First Post

Therapy?  Blogging or a diary?  Which is better?  At least with a blog, I can include movies and links and such.  I am a 36 female that has been married for 7 years.  Last week, my husband told me that he wanted a divorce.  This was a surprise.  Let me set it all up for you.

I met him over 20 years ago at our church.  His father was the minister and he was one of the cool kids that smoked behind the church and never actually went.  I had the hots for him from day one.  I think he might have noticed me, but our folks were friends and I think that the thought of our fathers killing him make him back off a bit.

Fast forward through high school, college, grad school, a terrible first job, and a useless fiance, and I had moved back to town.  I happened to do a relief date where we had both worked as veterinary technicians. He was dropping off his dog as I was walking into work.  It was magic from there.

The first date was wonderful....oddly, I went with him to a market and met up with his parents (whom I knew better than I knew him).  He saw a weird painting that he liked.  We had a very good time.  The next day I went back and bought the painting.  I took it to him sheepishly at work, kind in that toe kicking sort of way.  He got really excited and took me to his car, where he had a necklace that he had bought me.  It was a hand made necklace from one of our favorite gift stores.  I became a thing with us.  His gifts and cards were almost always from this store.

We would sit for hours listening to music at his house.  He had no cable, but we would listen to the evening college station DJ.  The year that preceded me moving back to town, I could get his station, and I used to listen to it on farm calIs.  The DJ was amazing and I learned more about current music and picked up more new indie rock loves in that first year just from the DJ.  It turned out, he was fairly well known in our town just because his show was so broad based.

It took a week at least before we even crossed the barrier of opposite ends of the couch.  It involved me scratching his head.  I loved the bristled feeling of his hair.  He asked me if I would still scratch his head in 20 years when we were married.  We both laughed it off.

But this were serious quickly, as happens when you approach 30.  He asked when I wanted to get married and I laughed.  Our parents asked us when we were going to get married.  We had so much in common: same friends, same music, same sense of humor.  And everywhere we went, we had fun.  We fell in love quickly and completely.

Maybe that is enough for tonight.  I am already crying.  His client is no longer in the basement and recording.  My husband is avoiding me, doesn't even want to watch TV with me.  He would rather drink beer and smoke pot and surf the internet.  And dump me from face book because he thinks that if see anything happy, I will get upset.  I am waiting to have him dump my company email.  I just have to figure out how to move all of the mails over to my new email address.  I hope people are not planning on contacting me in order to set up recording.  They will be waiting a long time for a response.  That reminds me.  I have to set up personal back accounts tomorrow and change me etsy account to use a paypal to go to that account.  Then talk to the lawyer on Thursday.
Here is to the recycled women out there.   Not looking forward to being a 36 year old single mother.
I feel used.

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